Three years ago today I went into an procedure where they removed 10 eggs and froze 7. Three years was a long time ago so let me catch you up, incase you missed it. On Feb. 5th, 2014 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. My treatment plan included a cycle of IVF, chemo, radiation and brachytherapy. On Feb. 5th, 2015 I entered remission. 2014 was a nightmare. You can read all about that HERE 🙂 and specifically my experience with IVF HERE.

Fast forward to 2017, three years later. I’m still 100% happy that I did IVF and I would HIGHLY suggest it to anyone that is looking to preserve fertility, especially due to a cancer diagnoses. I don’t know if I will ever need those eggs, but I know that they are there. Just some thoughts, not negative ones or buzz kill ones, but more like facts incase someone stumbles across this post and can highly benefit from it. I’m 32 years old. I’m unmarried. I do not have a serious boyfriend, but I am dating. Here is where I struggle. I feel the need to have the conversation explaining my situation and ability to have kids sooner than later. I prob give TMI (too much information) early on…I’m not talking first date kinda conversation you weird-o. My situation isn’t an easy one to swallow for most and kinda hard to wrap your head around when its going to effect you. My reasoning? I want to be honest and I don’t want to hide anything from the beginning…”feelings” and dating is hard enough. I want to make it really clear that yes I do want to have kids, but no I can’t get pregnant so creating a family would be a different route. I explain to them that this is something that they need to sit with and if “this” goes further, and that this is a conversation they would need to have with their family at some point. The person has alway been thankful for my honesty and impressed with the fact I have the guts to have that conversation.

Here is the sliver lining. I will never have a miscarriage. I will never have a complications while giving birth. I will never die in child labor. I will never have any condition associated with pregnancy that I have seen tear marriages and families apart and put women in a deep depression. I also don’t have to continue to date a man or be in a toxic relationship because my time clock is running out and I need to have kids before the age of 40. These are situations I have learned to be thankful for.

Infertility isn’t an easy topic period and it makes people REALLY uncomfortable. I wish I could say it gets better, but in the past three years it hasn’t. But when I do talk about it, I help someone or I make an awesome connection with someone. Please don’t hesitate to ask me questions or share my situation with someone. Even though I wish I could carry a child of my own, I’m not mad at my friends when they get peggers and I LOOOOVVVEEEE being Aunt Karen, especially to my two little Godsons.

The pictures below are the days during my IFV cycle. I had heard you gain a lot of weight during IVF so I took a picture to document. Update: I didn’t gain weight. The green picture in the middle is the eggs that were removed 36 hours after my last shot. The other pic is of me just before going back for them to retrieve the eggs.

I tell my story to share for those that were in my shoes doing late night internet searches. If you know someone it could benefit please share or put them in contact with me. You can’t do it alone, I tried.