Part 2: Six Way to Make People Like You

Reflection:

  • “Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.” (p.53)
  • “You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
  • “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures springs.” (p.55)
  • “If we want to make friends, lets put ourselves out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.” (p.60)
  • “If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm.” (p.61)
  • “A show of interest, as with every other principle of human relations, must be sincere. It must pay off not only for the person showing the interest, but for the person receiving the attention. It is a two way street – both parties benefit.” (p.64)
  • “That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us and they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.” (p.66)
  • “We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing…and nobody else.” (p.83)
  • “That kid of listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone.” (p.85)
  • “Listening is just as important in one’s home life as in the world of business.” (p.87)
  • “Many people fail to make a favorable impression because they don’t listen attentively.” (p.91)
  • “Very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to good talkers, but the ability to listen seems rarer than almost any other good trait.” (.91)
  • “He had wanted merely a friendly, sympathetic listener wo wome he could unburden himself. “(p.92)
  • “People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.” (p.93)
  • “If you aspire to be good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.” (p.93)
  • “The people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.” (p.93)
  • “The royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.” (p.94)
  • “If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return – if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.” (p.100)
  • “Always make the other person feel important.” (p.100)
  • “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (p.101)
  • “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.” (p.111)

Discussion:

  • Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
    • Are you discipline enough in your day to make this happen?
    • Can you slow down for a sec to have a genuine conversation with someone regarding THEIR life?
    • Make sure you are there mentally 100%!
  • Principle 2: Smile.
    • What do you think it looks like when you frown?
    • How approachable are you to strangers…to your kids?
  • Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
    • ALWAYS say that person’s name.
    • Take the time to figure out strangers names even if you are “suppose to already know”.
  • Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    • What if you had to put a dollar in a jar every time you talked about yourself versus asking about the other person.
  • Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
    • When you have conversations do you talk only of your interest?
    • Yes you and your friends share a lot of common interest but do you try to find out something new about them?
  • Principle 6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
    • This will only work if you do it sincerely. You will only get the positive/warm happy feeling if you do it sincerely!

 

Application:

  • Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
    • I have the perfect career for this! I get 1 on 1 time with a person for an hour. I have NO excuses in applying this to my life.
    • Principle 2: Smile.
      • I am going to make sure I am smiling when I say hello. Even when you are on the phone the person on the other end can tell if you are smiling or frowning, I promise!
  • Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
    • I use a lot of “Hey Girl/Lady” and “Y’all” in conversation/emails. I’m going to try to start applying a person’s name.
    • I’m also going to try to see stranger’s in shops/restaurants and start using it versus Mam.
  • Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    • I tend to speak of myself a lot in conversation in order to show a connection or that I can relate. I’m going to start really understanding and finding out about my friends/athletes so I have a bottomless pit to talk to them about that includes stuff going on in their lives!
  • Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
    • I’m going to try to find out 1 new interest in all my friends. Something I didn’t know about them.
  • Principle 6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
    • The return feeling on this is unimaginative. Why would I pass up on this opportunity?